How to stop the bully at your workplace.

As one who has lived through more than one situation dealing with workplace bullies, I wish someone had taught me “How to stop the bully at your workplace.”

by Dr. Martina Carroll-Garrison, an ICF Certified Coach

stop the bully at your workplace

How to stop the bully at your workplace.

Any mention of bully and workplace in the same sentence generally conjures up images of emotional savagery, screaming bosses, mobbing peers, and sneaky subordinates lodging false and salacious complaints against you, all while you are cast as the defenseless victim – which is precisely the image Dr. Carroll-Garrison (also known as Dr. Tina) wants to change. For the sake of simplicity, a workplace bully is basically anyone who makes your work life a living hell by contributing to or creating, a hostile, abusive or intolerable work environment. This is usually accomplished through intimidation, humiliation, criticism and ridicule, or demeaning behavior. The workplace bully is a person who bargains for his self-worth by devaluing yours, rather than improving or resolving conflict in himself.

Dr. Tina believes with passion and conviction that you have the power to stop your bully! Enduring a work life of bullying is painful. If you are being bullied at work, or someone you know and care for is being bullied at work, then Dr. Tina understands that you wish you knew what to do to make it stop. Dr. Tina recently published the second of a series of workplace handbooks on Amazon Kindle titled “How To Stop The Bully At Your Workplace“. And starting June 2014, Dr. Tina is offering a virtual training/coaching program, officially known as “How To Stop Your Bully,” which provides you a one-hour-per-week SKYPE group coaching session delivered over a five-week period. You will learn how to change how you see yourself as a victim of bullying; how to change how others see you as bully fodder; how to recognize your bullying story and how your story inhibits you; how you own your power; how to take back your power; how to be assertive even if you feel unconfident, nervous, ashamed, or afraid; and YOU WILL LEARN HOW TO STOP YOUR WORKPLACE BULLY!

“I know from personal experience both as a leader and an employee that an encounter with a bully is destructive, both personally and professionally,” said Dr. Tina. “The insidious nature of bullying attacks at the core of each individual, rips apart the heart of an organization, and destroys the collective will to produce and to serve. I have studied deviant workplace behaviors at length, and as a workplace bully survivor, an experienced leader and manager, and a certified Executive Coach, my goal is to now help you to stop the bully in your workplace, and to manifest you’re highest and most joyful work life. This is how your work life is supposed to be.”

Dr. Tina believes that “The rise of temporary and term employees has introduced a greater element of vagueness regarding the boundaries within the modern workplace. Diminished job security, transactional workplaces and transitory working relationships have eroded worker behaviors and positive cultural norms. Insistence on adherence to positive workplace norms, and behaving non-abusively and civilly in the workplace is imperative to long-term financial success of contemporary organizations”.

The How To Stop The Bully At Your Workplace handbook and the How To Stop Your Bully virtual training/coaching program came into existence after serving as a workplace coach for many years within the U.S. federal government, and as an executive coach in private practice. Dr. Tina has relived the bullying experiences of many coaching clients during their confidential coaching sessions. In her assessment workplace bullying is on the rise, is more insidious and hostile than ever, and both employees and organizations are being damaged. In supporting Dr. Tina’s professional assessment, the 2014 U.S. Workplace Bullying Survey reported the U.S. prevalence of abusive workplace behavior is on the rise. A summary of the results are as follows, among the representative sample surveyed, those who:

  1. are currently bullied = 7%;
  2. have been bullied = 20%;
  3. have witnessed bullying = 21%;
  4. are aware of bullying = 23%; and
  5. are unaware of bullying = 28%.

Before answering the question of what steps to take in stopping work place bullying Dr. Tina offers the following humorous adage; “Don’t wrestle with pigs, for three reasons:

  1. the first reason is that the pig likes it;
  2. the second reason is that you will get dirty; and
  3. the third reason is that after a while people on the outside looking in won’t be able to tell who is who.”

Her immediate advice about confronting or engaging with bullies is “don’t engage directly with the bully or you will get dirty”! As Dr. Tina says, “everyone desires to work in, and lead in a bully-free workplace. However, not everyone knows how to stop the bully from destroying their work life, or how to create and promote a bully-free culture in their workplace”. Dr. Tina proposes that the basic approach to stopping the bullying behavior in your workplace is to prepare yourself to alter your bully’s behavior in a systematic way by:

  1. figuring out how you are enabling the bully to bully you;
  2. disrupting and stopping the bullies’ enabling mechanisms; and
  3. re-establishing acceptable behaviors and boundaries between you and the bully.

Easier said than done, but with knowledge and executive coaching you can STOP the bully from disrupting your work life and your workplace joy.

For more information on How To Stop The Bully At Your Workplace handbook or the How To Stop Your Bully virtual training/coaching program please contact Dr. Tina at DrTina@MCGConsultingGroup.com or 001-703-785-6787.
About the Author
Dr. Martina Carroll-GarrisonAs a Georgetown trained Executive Leadership Coach, Dr. Tina helps you manifest your highest and most joyful work life through her philosophy of coaching the whole person. Her unique gift is helping you as a professional overcome challenges by intentionally and thoughtfully changing your emotional state.
Through coaching Dr. Tina facilitates exploration of your professional dissatisfaction towards achieving a significant breakthrough; moving to tangible actions designed to secure measurable and fulfilling results. As a former federal government professional, Dr. Tina has overcome many professional obstacles while in pursuit of her professional goals as a leader, and now offers you her insights as a coach.
Besides being an International Coaching Federation certified coach, Dr. Tina completed the Georgetown University Executive Coaching Training Program, and has earned a Doctorate in Management from the University of Phoenix, and two Master's Degrees; the first in Resource Strategy from the National Defense University's Industrial College of The Armed Forces, and, and the other in Global Strategy from Excelsior College. Her first credentials include a Diploma in Civil Engineering and a BSc in Management - she is a life-long learner, a seasoned leader and a committed coach, mentor and teacher. Her current JOB is as an independent Executive Leadership Coach, and this is her life's passion. She aspires to share her experiences and insights to help you with your professional growth and advancement.
Visit Dr. Tina at http://www.mcgconsultinggroup.com to explore a free coaching executive session she can offer you.
photo credit: mrsdkrebs via photopin cc

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