Hints for Parents of an Angry Child

Parent’s often do not know how to respond to an angry child.

 By Dr Richard L Travis

angry tween

Hints for parents of an angry child.

They are often embarrassed, or refuse to accept that their child has an anger problem. It is too easy to label a child’s behavior as common for kids their age, but what happens when the angry behavior turns into something more severe and alarming, such as issuing threats, verbal abuse and violent outbursts? Parents need to clearly understand that this is not common behavior in children. They do not normally behave like this.

Parents frequently make the mistake of ignoring their child’s anger issues by giving into their demands, and buying them more toys or things just to make them happy. Other parents think anger is a good behavior, and that their child is expressing it is a positive thing. These are common fallacies that are associated with parenting an angry child. The child often lacks the ability to understand how their behavior can have a negative effect on their environment. Parents and teachers can help the child reflect on their behavior, and help provide guidance and tools for coping with their anger.

Common signs of an angry child.

• Always argues with adults.
• Refuses to follow household.
• Easily gets annoyed by the behaviors and actions of others.
• Refuses to take responsibility and often blames others for their misbehaviors.
• Displays jealousy and vindictiveness toward other children.
• Refuses to cooperate with teachers at school.
• Refuses to follow through on their school work.
• Does not get along with siblings at home.
• Breaks things in the classroom or at home, and damages other people’s properties.
• Angry feelings are still evident for several hours after the altercation ends.
• Teachers raise concern over his or her disruptive behavior.
• Is unapproachable, showing signs of pent up anger and resentment.
• Uses strong words such as hate, revenge and payback.
• Does not get along with other kids at the playground.
• Bullies other kids.
• Uses verbally abusive language.
• Utters threats.
• Constant screaming, shouting and yelling.
• Regressive behaviors.
• Regresses in the development of essential coping skills, compared to other children.

Physical appearance of an angry child.

• Tense body.
• Clenched teeth.
• Pouty face.
• High intensity and tone of voice.
• Restlessness and signs of regressive behavior.
• Growls or loud breathing.
• Angry facial expressions such as cross eyebrows.
• Aggressive stance.
• Easily provoked.
• Squinty eyes.
• Unfriendly or threatening hand gestures.

When a child is expressing anger often, it may be a sign of depression or anxiety. This may need to be treated by a professional psychotherapist, and should be a very important option to consider.

At home, encourage your child to never bottle-up or repress those angry feelings. Listen to your children and allow them to release their anger in a positive and calm manner. Your engagement and active listening allows them an outlet to relieve their anger. This is very crucial, because if the parent does not provide an outlet for the child, the child can continue to bottle up their feelings. This can be harmful as it creates a toxic environment in their body. It often leads to feelings of resentment and hatred in you towards them, thereby affecting your own interactions with the child and the rest of the family.

When a child reacts quickly with anger or gets defensive quickly, this is also a behavior that should be discouraged by parents. Tell them never to harm themselves or others verbally or physically during their state of anger, since it can lead to consequences such as timeouts, suspensions, and even more serious physical damage. Finally, parents should talk to their child about impulsive behavior. Anger often causes us to lose our rational thinking and causes us to act out on impulse. We often regret that action later, and this impulsive behavior can cause damage to personal and social lives. It is very important to explain this to kids clearly and explain to them the negative effects of aggression.

Expert Author Dr Richard L Travis

This article is taken from the book Overcoming Anger in Teens and Pre-Teens: A Parent's Guide" by Dr. Richard L. Travis.  http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008WRJSii
This article is part of a series of books called "Dr. T's Living Well Series," by Dr. Richard L. Travis. The series contains books for Parents of Teens and Pre-Teens on ADHD, Anxiety, Depression, Obesity, Anger, Drug and Alcohol Problems, Low Self-Esteem, and Trauma and Loss. There are also books on Addictions in different careers, Sexual Identity, and Gay Relationships. Visit http://www.rltpublishing.com to see more information on these books.
Article Source: Dr Richard L. Travis

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